And as quickly as the rug gets pulled, it gets replaced by the most unlikely source. It's been in front of me for a few months and I never noticed - but putting it that way makes it sound like it wasn't worthy of being noticed and that's not the case at all. It just never occured to me. Is this my last shot at redemption? Could be, given my age.
This is new territory for me. Uncharted land and I'm going to face it full-on. Got to play it right though. I've lost too much to get here for me to throw it away easily.
Alyssa was cool this weekend as usual. I love that little pixie so much. Amazing how this is all connected. Things in life really do seem to have a way of sorting themselves out. Did Thunder get it right all along? We'll see. One thing is for certain - the ingredients are all there. The age, the location....
This week is going to be interesting. Let's see what I achieve by this time next week. What started out as a convenient screen could shape my future.
"Sometimes perception becomes reality".
And on a happier note - I've got swollen glands - well, swollen gland - on the left side of my neck. I mean, what's the point?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Protocol
It really pisses me off the way the rug can be pulled out from under my feet just by one simple action. Nothing anyone has done intentionally but it's one of those things. Something I hoped to leave behind 4 years ago keeps popping back in to my life and biting me on the arse. I really wish I could let go of this - nothing would bring me more pleasure but it lingers on like a bad smell.
It's just something which happened during a really good period of my life and is one of the main events which helped make it such a happy time. Not that I'm miserable now or anything but I was on a mega high then. Mind you at the time I probably couldn't see it. To me it was just 'life' then.
You might have noticed I'm on a bit of a downer today - and I shouldn't be. Well like I said, I was ok until this evening. My new Nike Airs came today, am off to the gym in an hour to try them out - perhaps that'll take my mind off things.
FFS Russ, take some happy pills!
.......excuse me?
It's just something which happened during a really good period of my life and is one of the main events which helped make it such a happy time. Not that I'm miserable now or anything but I was on a mega high then. Mind you at the time I probably couldn't see it. To me it was just 'life' then.
You might have noticed I'm on a bit of a downer today - and I shouldn't be. Well like I said, I was ok until this evening. My new Nike Airs came today, am off to the gym in an hour to try them out - perhaps that'll take my mind off things.
FFS Russ, take some happy pills!
.......excuse me?
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Exploits
Energy.
I'm full of it right now. Not just a figure of speech to say I'm cheerful or whatever, but right now I feel REALLY energetic. I'm in work but I want to go for a run. Anyone watching me now would think I'm on speed or something, but I'm not. I've not taken any substance since the crazy summer of 1995 when I used to pop ephedrein (which was legal at the time).
Anyway, it might be a sugar rush as I just had a cuppa with about 5 sugars - don't know why I put so many in, boredom probably. I ordered a pair of new Nike AirMax trainers last night, they'll arrive tomorrow and I'll really be able to work on my cardio. I've surprised myself recently with how well I've progressed, I've decided I've got enough muscle now - I just need to lose a bit of the gut and improve my fitness.
Bridge have asked me to do some more shift next month but I've had to turn them down - I seem to be permanently tired these days and more tech op slots will make matters worse - the studio is so comfortable there I'll probably fall asleep - not quite what I want.
M+D are going away this weekend so I'll be house-sitting - Alex will be down from Kent too so she can help me with Alyssa. That reminds me, 2 weeks today and I'll be back online! Finally! A word of warning to anyone thinking of using TalkTalk for broadband....don't. Absolutely pathetic Customer Services - that's if you can get through to them. They're one of those companies who like to keep customers at arm's length. You know you're dealing with one of those when their automated telephone service (press 1 to get cut off, press 2 to get through to the wrong department etc) have hardly any options to speak to a human and when you do, they're either in Indian or South Africa. Anyway I cacelled with them, sadly too late to have BT broadband straight away: technically I'm still with TalkTalk for 2 weeks but once that's up I can go back to BT and have their internet service.
Really can't wait for tomorrow.
I'm full of it right now. Not just a figure of speech to say I'm cheerful or whatever, but right now I feel REALLY energetic. I'm in work but I want to go for a run. Anyone watching me now would think I'm on speed or something, but I'm not. I've not taken any substance since the crazy summer of 1995 when I used to pop ephedrein (which was legal at the time).
Anyway, it might be a sugar rush as I just had a cuppa with about 5 sugars - don't know why I put so many in, boredom probably. I ordered a pair of new Nike AirMax trainers last night, they'll arrive tomorrow and I'll really be able to work on my cardio. I've surprised myself recently with how well I've progressed, I've decided I've got enough muscle now - I just need to lose a bit of the gut and improve my fitness.
Bridge have asked me to do some more shift next month but I've had to turn them down - I seem to be permanently tired these days and more tech op slots will make matters worse - the studio is so comfortable there I'll probably fall asleep - not quite what I want.
M+D are going away this weekend so I'll be house-sitting - Alex will be down from Kent too so she can help me with Alyssa. That reminds me, 2 weeks today and I'll be back online! Finally! A word of warning to anyone thinking of using TalkTalk for broadband....don't. Absolutely pathetic Customer Services - that's if you can get through to them. They're one of those companies who like to keep customers at arm's length. You know you're dealing with one of those when their automated telephone service (press 1 to get cut off, press 2 to get through to the wrong department etc) have hardly any options to speak to a human and when you do, they're either in Indian or South Africa. Anyway I cacelled with them, sadly too late to have BT broadband straight away: technically I'm still with TalkTalk for 2 weeks but once that's up I can go back to BT and have their internet service.
Really can't wait for tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Pharma?
I really need to update this more. A LOT more.
Anyway, it came and went. 16th August - I've now been set free from those 'chains'. In an ideal world I wouldn't really care about it anymore - I did what I did and it stuck with me for 12 monthsonly - but even though I've moved on from that, for some reason I haven't really 'moved on' as much as I hoped I would. That Green Day song still grabs my attention whenever I hear it.
Iona has invited me to her wedding just before Christmas and I'm hoping to go - it'll be odd to watch my old mate getting hitched - happy for her though.
The CW - PPW thing is still ongoing and I hate being caught up in the middle.
A bit of a dilemma for me now - The Wave have made me an offer to return - and it's a good one. Well, not brilliant but better than before. Really not sure if I want to take it though. Actually that's a lie, of course I'd like to take it but I don't know if it's the right time. I have a LOT of things on my plate right now - my life is busy but not in a bad way and I don't know if I really want to change my schedule. I'm slowly getting more direction in my life and for the first time in a long time I'm fairly happy. It'll be a step back up but it'll be reopening old wounds - is it worth it? The money will definately help, as well as being able to work with some old mates. I'll need to think this one over. In the meantime I have CW to think about.
Anyway, it came and went. 16th August - I've now been set free from those 'chains'. In an ideal world I wouldn't really care about it anymore - I did what I did and it stuck with me for 12 monthsonly - but even though I've moved on from that, for some reason I haven't really 'moved on' as much as I hoped I would. That Green Day song still grabs my attention whenever I hear it.
Iona has invited me to her wedding just before Christmas and I'm hoping to go - it'll be odd to watch my old mate getting hitched - happy for her though.
The CW - PPW thing is still ongoing and I hate being caught up in the middle.
A bit of a dilemma for me now - The Wave have made me an offer to return - and it's a good one. Well, not brilliant but better than before. Really not sure if I want to take it though. Actually that's a lie, of course I'd like to take it but I don't know if it's the right time. I have a LOT of things on my plate right now - my life is busy but not in a bad way and I don't know if I really want to change my schedule. I'm slowly getting more direction in my life and for the first time in a long time I'm fairly happy. It'll be a step back up but it'll be reopening old wounds - is it worth it? The money will definately help, as well as being able to work with some old mates. I'll need to think this one over. In the meantime I have CW to think about.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Goffic
Got back in to the gym today, firt time in almost a week. I have until the 26th to work on my cardio.
Dad lent me his car this morning to get to work - the plan was to get the RAC to take my car to the garage from my parents' house but needed to get the afternoon off to arrange it. My supervisor was good enough to grant me the half day at such short notice.
Anyway I managed to get the car to the garage some shape and left it there for their opinion. Turns out I needed new bearings and a wheel cylinder, whole thing cost me £94 which I could have done without but on the brightside it's all working fine now.
My new boots came today, man they're a snug fit. Spose it means they'll give me good ankle support and they'll do for now. Just need to get Workman to send me my shorts and I'll totally mark out.
Dad lent me his car this morning to get to work - the plan was to get the RAC to take my car to the garage from my parents' house but needed to get the afternoon off to arrange it. My supervisor was good enough to grant me the half day at such short notice.
Anyway I managed to get the car to the garage some shape and left it there for their opinion. Turns out I needed new bearings and a wheel cylinder, whole thing cost me £94 which I could have done without but on the brightside it's all working fine now.
My new boots came today, man they're a snug fit. Spose it means they'll give me good ankle support and they'll do for now. Just need to get Workman to send me my shorts and I'll totally mark out.
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