The end of the beginning?

I just cannot relax this summer due to what happened last year. It was around about now in 2005 that I heard about it. I keep expecting something like it to crop up again but from where? I can't see how. But it feels like it will.

Had ANOTHER dream about the Merthyr girl last night, I wish she'd get out of my mind. I don't want her in there.

Anyway I've started making waves with PPW and Celtic which is good. I hope to complete my journey sometime this year, probably by the autumn but who knows. It'll be good to see such a long (almost 25 years?) journey come to an end.

My fees from The Sun should arrive next week, possibly the week after and I'm REALLY looking forward to it. Then I'll get Tusky's car and maybe the Nokia N80 too, but I have to get hold of my replacement driving license as well. In fact I'd better get a few photos for it this week.

By the way Cath - they really don't need to know about all this - but I WILL tell you what it's about.

The Aftermath.

Well I certainly wasn't expecting THAT. I had no idea how serious the matter was, and I came worryingly close to a repeat of last August - in fact it could have been worse.

I now need to stay on THIS path. I simply cannot afford to slip up.

Speaking of which, Mam and Dad went on holiday this morning for a week so I stayed at their for a while today and I found a note shoved through the door which also brought back disturbing memories of last year. I think I've taken care of it though - in 7 days I should be clear.

It's like these things come to me in waves. From experience, I'd say this isn't over yet.

Went to my first Celtic training session tonight. I'm impressed, got some good moves out of the way. I'm in a LOT of pain tonight though but it's worth it. Just need to work on my cardio now. Was sweating like a pig when I left and as I'm typing this, I'm shaking like a shitting dog. All good though.

Oh and by the way, my radio career seems to be over. Nice.

August 2005

I treat each year as a series of events - something like a race which needs to be run on an annual basis. I often look back at these series of events with positive nostalgia. Some years were great, other were awful. The funny thing about my teens was odd-numbered years were really good, (ie 1987, 1989, 1991, 1993, 1995) and conversely the years inbetween were more disappointing. I can't give any reasons as to why this seemed to be the case but over an 8 or 9 year gap, I certainly noticed it.

2005 will go down in my history as a bad year for me. To go from such a high (April/May) to the lowest point of my life (the rest of the summer until the end of August) gave me such a rollercoaster of emotions that I never ever want to go there again. I lost so much in that short space of time, and I'm still feeling the ramifications of it today. Specifically today, as it has returned to bite me on the arse, albeit in a small way.

Interestingly it's always good when a counter-worry comes along and distracts you...

Confessions

A few months ago I found a lump on the top of my back. At first I thought it was a zit but I found out it was flesh coloured. It didn't really bother me until last night when I felt it again and realised it had doubled in size. I was particularly worried because I've been using the sunbed lately.

I went to the out-of-hours surgery last night and the doctor told me it was a sebacious cyst - nothing to worry about.

PPW is coming along nicely, it's only taken me 20 years! I've managed to arrange the contract signing between Jack Starr and Matt Vaughn will take place live on Chris Blumer's Late Night Lock-in this coming tuesday!

The Bay View saga continues, the new buyers came in on wednesday, they're really serious. If all this goes through (and I've got no reason to think otherwise) then the place will be unrecognisable and I'm really looking forward to being part of that. But do I want to limit myself to it though? That's something I need to think about.

Saw an old work colleague last week. Mark Wood from BT. He was my supervisor when I was there and you'll never meet a more incompetent David Brent-like manager. No people-skills whatsoever. He's the type of TL who uses the 'naughty chair' tactic for people who don't perform well. And you cannot tell him he's wrong - oh no, that just can't happen.