THE END

Yep it's over, this is the last post in my Blogger acount. I've decided to change to http://russburt.vox.com instead. What you waiting for? Get over there...

Is it worth the aggravation to find yourself a job when there's nothing worth working for?

Remember that annoying student type bloke from the Elephant.co.uk (that's Elephant.co.uk) adverts a few years back? Apparently he died in a car crash or something so now they bring in some idiot with a lisp and a Will Young-style underbite wandering about a 'jungle' looking for even cheaper car insurance.

So I decided to try them as my renewal is up soon. Currently I'm with People's Choice and I'm paying £190 fully comp and their renewal quote is only a bit cheaper. I got myself a quote and guess what? Elephant.co.uk (that's Elephant.co.uk) quoted me £350!! Even cheaper car insurance? Don't give me crap. Elephant.co.uk (that's Elephant.co.uk) are part of Admiral Insurance and I've heard loads of dodgy stuff about them so I'll keeping away from those nutters.

I hate being a second-hand friend.

Sleight of hand and twist of fate, On a bed of nails she makes me wait

Since I've been working at The Wave and being a mobile DJ I've been classed as self employed. They've never really been my main jobs but I still have to pay my own tax and national insurance. I started at The Wave in late 2003 and when I was required to, I filled out and completed a self-assessment tax return. Pain in the arse but I did it.

Anyway fast forward to last summer when I had a letter from the Inland Revenue telling me Not only did I owe them £2500 in unpaid tax for that financial year but there was a monthly £100 penalty building up...as they hadn't received the tax return. When that happens, they make a guess at what you should be paying in tax and that's what they'd done to me. So there I was with a tax bill of more than £3500.

I went nuts over this, why did it take them so long to tell me? Plus in order to get all the paperwork together to resubmit my tax return would take months and indeed it was only 2 months ago I managed to get everything together. In the meantime the tax office had taken me to court and obtained a judgement against me.

So there I was with a CCJ against my name and an almost 4 grand tax bill.

Life was not the best.

Anyway I finally got the whole thing sorted, the tax office calculated I didn't need to pay that sort of money in tax and the bill was wiped out.

I even had a letter saying I'd overpaid £200 in tax, and I was due a rebate! Brilliant, right?

Wrong.

Although the tax bill was wiped out, they were still chasing me for court costs which came to £250. They so-kindly decided to offset the costs from my rebate which meant I still owe the bastards £50.

Of course, had they not lost my original tax return then none of this would have happened, it wouldn't have gone to court and I'd be enjoying my £200.

Why should I have to pay for a court hearing when I'd done nothing wrong?

As it turns out I'm going to have to spend £65 going back to court to have the CCJ removed seeing as it shouldn't have taken place and there 'might' be a chance I'll get the final £50 wiped out.

So, Inland Revenue, Tax Office, Customs and Excise or whatever you guys are called this week, the below picture is officially for you.

To the Inland Revenue

Later I'll explain why I'm flipping the bird at the tax office

What I can see tonight

This is the view from my window right now. In the distance is the Swansea Bay. Nice!

Pack it up, pack it in, Let me begin, I came to win, Battle me that's a sin

Gone and got myself a Sony Ericsson w880i - man this phone is incredible! It's a little bigger than an iPod Nano and I love it. It has a feature which allows me to upload pictures straight to my blog (the one of Alyssa below is an example) so I'll be using that a lot.

I've taken all next week off, it'll be the longest I've ever taken off work in...about 15 years? I need to do this for the sake of my work - everything will be clear when I get back, I just need to make it through the next 3 days..!

Wrestling training is on hold indefinately, one of the trainees took a nasty injury on monday and had brain surgery this afternoon. It wasn't due to the supervision or management but they're taking no chances. Come on Ringo, we need you out of that coma!

Alyssa

Baby close your eyes and listen to the music drifting through a summer breeze

Such a crazy week. Started off with my Scort miserably failing its MOT. They filled 2 pages with faults, at an estimated cost of £700 so I waved a sorry goodbye to one of the best looking cars I've ever had. I sold it to the garage who failed it for a fraction of what I paid for it. This left me carless temporarily which was a pain in the arse. Looked around and found an awesome Rover 416si, late model. Bought it and now I'm driving it. Much smoother ride, really. Just need to get some decent ICE for it. It comes with a standard Rover RDS radio which is ok but I need a CD player. In the meantime I'll just use my Ipod and this: http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.globalsourcesdirect.com/catalog/E4U049.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.globalsourcesdirect.com/servlet/the-61/iPod-Cassette-Adapter/Detail&h=400&w=400&sz=11&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=Wb9IG0-U5yq6GM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dipod%2Bcassette%2Badaptor%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_en-GBGB216GB216%26sa%3DN - could just use the iTrip I spose.

Then the bird finally passed her driving test (Yeah! Go hun) then all the memories have been coming flooding back. So what am I gonna do with them?

Got myself satnav for the Vario which is cool but was a pain in the arse to set up. Still, happy with it now.

MF'ing bank decided to take money out of my account yesterday without telling me. And it'll take 5 working days to get it back. Lovely.

By the way, soon there won't be any secrecy or cyptic stuff in my blog. So there you go Carl, soon you'll know all about me!

A man that's on the run is a dirty son of a gun

So worn out, so tired. Went to a book launch at Morgan's in Swansea tonight, it was ok. Diane was great, Pete was there too, can't get over how amazingly beautiful Lisa is, she gets better each time I see her. Talking of fit women, Imogen was there too. Such a nice girl, she's so friendly, down to earth and 'real'.

Clever girl too. I don't care what you lot think about her, I speak as someone who actually knows the girl. We all went out on to Wind Street and clubbed our arses off. Really good night, I had to go early because I'm picking Alyssa up in the morning, before I left I took this picture of Im http://uk.geocities.com/russ.burt73@btinternet.com/31-03-07_2116.jpg

She's coming on the show on monday so it'll be cool to see her sober... ;)

I won't beg I'm no good at that

Was watching MTV this afternoon and the video for 'Naughty Girl' by Holly Valance came on. Not many people remember that song but it holds so many memories for me, all from autumn 2002. The Left Behind books, my flat in Talbot Road, coming home in the evenings, my candle-making kit (hey, it was a phase), NTL, and also my planned visit to New York - parts of that video are filmed in Time Square and it brings the memories back, as well as the clip where Holly is wearing a baseball cap - looking just like KT who also used to wear one.

Enjoying my days off, and it loks like my car will be back on the road soon. Nice :)

When the morning cries and you dont know why

I hate traffic wardens. Nah, not the ones who put tickets on your car, but beaurocrats, red tape experts, officials who like to make things tough for you just because they can.

At the end of January I had a letter from the Inland Revenue saying my working tax credits were due to run out because I hadn't completed some 60 page form in triplicate. I had to resubmit my application (which of course they lost) so I filled out another one and sent it back 2 weeks ago. Anyway I phoned them this morning to get an update of the claim and they wouldn't speak to me.

Apparently the details I gave them about myself (name, address, DoB etc) didn't match with the details they had and they would not give me anything to go on as to the reason. I called them 4 times and each time it was the same. Completely unhelpful.

I had to go to the Swansea Tax Office to sort it out. Spend 4 hours sorting it out and found out the problem - for some reason the date of birth they had was 14/6/61. Nice one guys, but do I look 45?

Anyway it looks like I'm finally getting somewhere now. I should get a decision by the end of the week.

Work is going well - I passed my probation and now I'm a permanent employee for.......who?

Suddenly every part of me needs to know every part of you

Iona's back! Heard from her today for the first time in ages, she's the singer in a band called Psypha, I've played some of their stuff on my radio show. Known her for about 6 years now....has it really been that long? Such a dodgy bird.

Found this on youtube earlier - so bad it's good http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1sHAX2F4PE, you can't beat a good chav!

So this is the week of reckoning. Got to make sure I'm on the ball for the next 3 days.

Feel the rain upon your skin, no-one else can feel it for you

Pressure. How do I handle it? In different ways, depends on what else is going on. Counter-worries are a good thing because they help me juggle different things at once.

Found out the my cousin Rob has recently got engaged and the party will be at the Seabank on the 16th March so that'll be good, I love getting together with my family :)

Cath is looking forward to coming as well - M+D won't be there and they'll be away on another cruise but I doubt they'd have gone anyway. Got to get cards for them all today.

That reminds me, had a second phoneline today. T-mobile gave me a Vario 2 which is a PDA and I'm quietly pleased with myself for getting it. Still takes a while to get used to but it'll help with my awesomely (is that a word? if not it bloody well should be) bad memory. Already made a list of things to do today (thought of another one while typing this) so that'll be good. Need a good memory card for it though.

BT Homehub. Good bit of kit, frankly crap tech support. Yep it's in India.

I'm a cold heartbreaker, Fit ta burn, and I'll rip your heart in two

I hate Indian callcentres. Bag o' shite the lot of them.

Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims

Back in 1990, around easter time, I had a really bizarre experience.

I was 15 and approaching my GCSEs. I went to a city in southern Germany called Heilbronn as part of the town exchange. I was one of the oldest as all the others were around 13 or 14 and I was one of only two blokes to go - the other 18 were girls.

The families who looked after us were great but the lads we all stayed with really took us under their wing. They figured we'd feel a bit left out so they put on their own entertainment. We'd be up til about 4am drinking all kinds of eastern european alcohol and playing poker, it was the first time I felt as if I was truly alive.

One particular night we'd been to a club and we all crashed back at one of the guys' houses, in his basement which was huge. There he cracked open the Chekoslovakian absinthe. The first time I'd ever tried it. This wasn't yer normal watered-down rubbish, this stuff was powerful enough to fuel the Luftwaffen. Green fairies?? Don't be daft, I WAS a green fairy when I was on that stuff. At 2am we had the bright idea of wandering down to central Heilbronn to see what larfs we could get up to.

We ended up being taken to this 'art erotique' club. I had no idea what to expect and to be honest, I was too bazooka'd out of my tree to care.

The best way to describe it was like a typical arty-farty art-house. Big open room, dark lighting, various odd sculptures dotted about the place. Here were a dozen well-lubricated and hallucinating 15 year old entering this establishment but something wasn't right and we couldn't work out what it was - ah yes, that was it. All the people (or to be more precise, all the women) were naked.

Slowly it dawned on us that the statues were not statues. They were women, offering to show us around the erotique paintings and sculptures.

Let me make this clear - this was not in any way seedy or filthy. It was definately art. But we were hormonally-charged 15 year olds so we failed to appreciate the cultural side of it but the women were so strict in their approach than none of us dared (or at least, as much absinthe-filled teenagers could) touch or look at any off-limits body parts. We didn't letch or leer - we were too shocked so we just pretended to admire the 'artwork'.

As we were being shown around, the background music was Enigma (they had a number one 17 years ago with "Sadeness Part one". We left about half an out later wondering what had just happened to us.

By this time it was starting to get light in the early-morning of Heilbronn. We all staggard home and had an intellectual discussion about the artistic merits of German culture whilst sipping cognac and puffing on expensive Cuban cigars.

Actually that bit didn't happen at all. We DID stagger home, projectile vomited all over some cars and slept in some bushes til 3pm.

I'm not proud of what happened, in fact it was pretty reckless and dangerous, but it happened.

Sister psycosis Don't got a lot to say

I hate getting older.

No, not for the usual reasons. None of this 'midlife crisis' stuff. No, this is personal.

I've noticed since I've started 'the job' that things are different. The problems which have plagued me for more than 20 years are just falling away. I don't know how and I don't know why. Am I complaining? Well yeah, sort of. These obstacles are what have made me who I am. These challenges have given me my ability to look in to someone's soul. They've allowed me to read someone's life from their language. Honestly, I really don't understand what these problems have been about (well actually I do, but I don't want you to know) or when the solution came but I'm sure it's to do with my surroundings. I'm guessing this is just the beginning as not all the issues have been cleared up but slowly the improvements seem to be growing.

So why do I hate getting older? Because I'm guessing these changes are to do with my age (33 in june in case you're interested) and how I'm perceived. 'The job' is the best place for all this. Such diversity means I get a mixed reaction.

Oh yeah, 'the job'. I might tell you about it next week. Actually a week today, that's about right. If I tell you at all, it'll be from then. The way it's been going then I very probably (does that make sense??) will. But I get my moments when it all falls down. I just have to do well next week is all. Had another 3 today and although it wasn't a challenge, I was grateful.

So what now? I get through tomorrow. She's getting a card of course and a whole lot more - but she doesn't know it yet. Hopefully I'll manage to get to the end of the day without being reminded about what happened 5 years ago tomorrow. One thing's for certain - you won't find me at the train station. Or the Eli Jenkins. Or Castle Square. If the phones rings, I say leave it ring.

Nah, I won't be reminded.

A thousand numbers on my wall, some with names I sometimes call

Dad's birthday yesterday, we had a bit of a house party for him but the proper celebration was tonight. About 12 of us went out to The Tower in Swansea for a meal. Was really nice although the service was crap. Couldn't get over the similarities with 2002, his 65th birthday. Some of the same people there too. Actually loads of similarities with that darned year so far. I'll get over it. I should co-co.

Looks like I'm on the move again this week, but possibly at the expense of my PSP. Yep, that's cryptic. But those who need to know will understand.

Another thing about 2002 which continues to to stcik around to this day is the Left Behind books. I was introduced to them 5 years ago and to say they made an impact on me is an understatement. There are about 13 in series with another one out in a month or two and will be the final release. I'm halfway through the second-to-last release which is actually the 3rd prequel before the main series starts.

Yeah, work that one out.

Didn't get to have Alyssa this weekend because of the weather, she lives out in the sticks whereas I'm on the coast, we don't usually have much snow here. But in her village they get more white stuff than a record industry launch party.

WHY AM I SO TIRED ALL THE TIME??? I've taken a break from the gym so that can't be it. I've done nothing all day but read my new book, why am I yawning so much?

Sometimes your answer's heaven sent, Your way is so damn permanent

If ever you see me blog the words "I'm going to update this blog more often", treat it with the same amount of belief as a comment any Arsenal fan makes about his team's chances in the league.

OK I've been busy etc and all the usual crap. But actually I haven't. I recently bought a PSP and I can't put the darned thing down. It's a barrel of larfs, in my spare moments in work I'm always mucking about with it. Ah yeah, work.

First Andrea left after 3 days. Nick was the next to go, 3 weeks later. Then Mike, followed by Andrew. And today Josh walked out. Anthony might be the next to go. OK the job is tough, but enjoyable tough. Who knows, maybe I'll be next to go? Dunno but I doubt it. I'm enjoying this and it's taken me 4 years to get back.

And so many cuties on the team too. Angela (wow), Lisa (corrr), Rachel (meltdown!), Stacey (bling bling!!) Julie (booya!) and the fabulous and very lovely Cath who, if you didn't know, looks like a brunette Billie Piper. Complete with curves :D

Dad's birthday on friday, he's 70. Which means tomorrow is.......Paddy's anniversary.

Paddy was a mate I had in school. He got himself in trouble with the law a few times but he was always ok with me.

February 8th 1989 was the day he died. He was playing 'chicken' with the waves on Aberavon beach. Out of nowhere a massive wave crashed in and swept him out. He was never seen alive again. I last saw him about a week before he died, we were riding our bikes home from school. We rode on the pavement until a passing police car slowed down and the officer growled at us to get off it and on to the road.

A few hundred yards on, we parted ways and the last thing he ever said to me was "Don't let the pigs catch you". That was so Paddy. The days after he died, school was stunned. It never really sunk in. Anyway, in 2 years it'll be his 20th anniversary. That will be bizarre.

Come on you rambling boys of pleasure, and ladies of easy leisure.

Another year, another wrestler dead. Yesterday Scott 'Bam Bam' Bigelow died, he was 45. I wasn't ever really a fan of his but he was massively respected in the industry. No word yet on the cause of death and there's nothing to suggest anything untoward.

Found out today my old pal Joe E Legend is returning to wrestling in South Wales. Joe has worked for WWE, WCW and TNA and really doesn't come down here often enough. It's amazing to be backstage with a guy like him. Such a knowledgeable and humble bloke.

Got a show in Pencoed in about 14 hours' time and another in Cwmparc on friday.

Spent all afternoon producing 2 demos for Blumer today. I hate Cool Edit Pro.

I feel it's going down, 10 feet below the ground

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And Im waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised,
shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you
With or without you

I cant live
With or without you
With or without you

All bright and shiny like they'd just arrived from Mars

Finally my 1Gb memory card arrived! Had my latest sample from Fish - I love having radio connections!

Getting more and more serious about moving closer to work. I never thought I'd like that town as much as I do. It doesn't have much going for it other than the character but it's sort of appealing. I can't describe it - you just have to see it to understand. Some really cool people on my team too - and Julie is the best! Gareth is a good trainer and all the guys are easy to get on with. Got some kind of affinity with Evan, maybe that's because he's near my age (I'm the oldest on the team) and is well spoken. Yeah, I like them all really. My qualifications could take me a lot further than this but I'm happy - no real need to move. I'm now earning a lot more than I've ever done (about £4000 pa more than ntl).

Spent a load of wonga on decent clobber today. Looking mighty fine if I say so myself. I need to get more Channel Allure Sport aftershave (been wearing it for the last 3 months) but the last lot I bought was only £12 from Ebay and I'm finding it hard to want to spend any more than that, but I can't find it at that price anywhere. My current favourite is David Beckham, followed by Hugo Boss Sport Motion (the one which comes in a silver ball) and CK Eternity.

Got a show tomorrow then I'm off to Blumer's house in the evening to do some production work on his demo. I can't believe him. In the space of about a year he's gone from renting a tiny flat to being almost married to a fabulous woman. I don't begrudge him in any way - in fact it couldn't have happened to nicer bloke. But the transformation is amazing.

The man said why do you think you're here?

I think the best advice I've ever been given is 'Life goes on'. Regardless of what life throws at you, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west. Of course it never seems that way when you're confronted with another obstacle but that's how life tries to get at you. You don't look past it, instead you take one look at what's collapsed in front of you and panic. Life will never go the way you plan it - no, it's up to God to shape things and only He knows how things will go. So you can say things like "we'll be getting married this year" but that's only if it fits in with His plan. The expression 'God willing' had to come from somewhere.

I don't know anyone who suffers from Seasonal Adjustment Disorder but I always feel crap at this time of year. OK the nights are drawing out but there's nothing to look forward to. We normally get crappy weather in febuary and march and at least when the summer ended a few months ago we had Christmas to look forward to but now - nothing. Summer 2007 is so far away, that's not a nice thought. I would have said my birthday is something to look forward to but it means little to me now. I'd rather have more fun on Alyssa's birthday in July. She's started to work out she gets presents at Christmas AND her birthday, until recently whenever an advert for a toy would come on, she'd ask if she could have it for Christmas - now she's asking for things for her birthday. She's starting to get really headstrong and it would be too easy to let her get her own way but as soon as I give in, she'd realise she's in charge and her for own good, that's not what I want. She's got my wrapped around her little finger but there's no way I'm letting her know.

Loving you was easy and being true was hard

5 days in to 2007 and I can see where this year is going. The one glimmer of hope is that the repeat of August 2005 is over - I can move on from that, who knows if it will return. But that one is gone.

The CT issue is looming. I have a few choices here, I can take the big B, deftly avoid or try my luck in front of the man. B might be the only real escape.

As time goes by I'm becoming more and more infatuated with KT. She's been in my life for so long, she'll be in it for many many years to come too.

I really need to buckle down and hit the gym again. In the summer I was at my peak, I was looking and feeling great, the first time in ages but Cultech saw me lose all that. I'll try again but this time I'll hit it hard.

Watched my boxset of Dr Who last night - first time in ages. Christopher Eckleston - interesting choice of Dr, he should never have left.

Starting to feel the real me coming through again, which is always going to be good. Need to spend more time with my Porthcawl family soon. It's funny, I can feel the old nature in me battling against it - and it's winning for now. I'll win the war though.

So what can I look forward to in 2007? Well, the big B obviously. Perhaps moving closer to Merthyr? I think that's more than likely. Going to get my studies completed, as well as cement things with KT.

Never before have I wished I'd never met someone.