Friday, February 23, 2007
I'm a cold heartbreaker, Fit ta burn, and I'll rip your heart in two
I hate Indian callcentres. Bag o' shite the lot of them.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
Back in 1990, around easter time, I had a really bizarre experience.
I was 15 and approaching my GCSEs. I went to a city in southern Germany called Heilbronn as part of the town exchange. I was one of the oldest as all the others were around 13 or 14 and I was one of only two blokes to go - the other 18 were girls.
The families who looked after us were great but the lads we all stayed with really took us under their wing. They figured we'd feel a bit left out so they put on their own entertainment. We'd be up til about 4am drinking all kinds of eastern european alcohol and playing poker, it was the first time I felt as if I was truly alive.
One particular night we'd been to a club and we all crashed back at one of the guys' houses, in his basement which was huge. There he cracked open the Chekoslovakian absinthe. The first time I'd ever tried it. This wasn't yer normal watered-down rubbish, this stuff was powerful enough to fuel the Luftwaffen. Green fairies?? Don't be daft, I WAS a green fairy when I was on that stuff. At 2am we had the bright idea of wandering down to central Heilbronn to see what larfs we could get up to.
We ended up being taken to this 'art erotique' club. I had no idea what to expect and to be honest, I was too bazooka'd out of my tree to care.
The best way to describe it was like a typical arty-farty art-house. Big open room, dark lighting, various odd sculptures dotted about the place. Here were a dozen well-lubricated and hallucinating 15 year old entering this establishment but something wasn't right and we couldn't work out what it was - ah yes, that was it. All the people (or to be more precise, all the women) were naked.
Slowly it dawned on us that the statues were not statues. They were women, offering to show us around the erotique paintings and sculptures.
Let me make this clear - this was not in any way seedy or filthy. It was definately art. But we were hormonally-charged 15 year olds so we failed to appreciate the cultural side of it but the women were so strict in their approach than none of us dared (or at least, as much absinthe-filled teenagers could) touch or look at any off-limits body parts. We didn't letch or leer - we were too shocked so we just pretended to admire the 'artwork'.
As we were being shown around, the background music was Enigma (they had a number one 17 years ago with "Sadeness Part one". We left about half an out later wondering what had just happened to us.
By this time it was starting to get light in the early-morning of Heilbronn. We all staggard home and had an intellectual discussion about the artistic merits of German culture whilst sipping cognac and puffing on expensive Cuban cigars.
Actually that bit didn't happen at all. We DID stagger home, projectile vomited all over some cars and slept in some bushes til 3pm.
I'm not proud of what happened, in fact it was pretty reckless and dangerous, but it happened.
I was 15 and approaching my GCSEs. I went to a city in southern Germany called Heilbronn as part of the town exchange. I was one of the oldest as all the others were around 13 or 14 and I was one of only two blokes to go - the other 18 were girls.
The families who looked after us were great but the lads we all stayed with really took us under their wing. They figured we'd feel a bit left out so they put on their own entertainment. We'd be up til about 4am drinking all kinds of eastern european alcohol and playing poker, it was the first time I felt as if I was truly alive.
One particular night we'd been to a club and we all crashed back at one of the guys' houses, in his basement which was huge. There he cracked open the Chekoslovakian absinthe. The first time I'd ever tried it. This wasn't yer normal watered-down rubbish, this stuff was powerful enough to fuel the Luftwaffen. Green fairies?? Don't be daft, I WAS a green fairy when I was on that stuff. At 2am we had the bright idea of wandering down to central Heilbronn to see what larfs we could get up to.
We ended up being taken to this 'art erotique' club. I had no idea what to expect and to be honest, I was too bazooka'd out of my tree to care.
The best way to describe it was like a typical arty-farty art-house. Big open room, dark lighting, various odd sculptures dotted about the place. Here were a dozen well-lubricated and hallucinating 15 year old entering this establishment but something wasn't right and we couldn't work out what it was - ah yes, that was it. All the people (or to be more precise, all the women) were naked.
Slowly it dawned on us that the statues were not statues. They were women, offering to show us around the erotique paintings and sculptures.
Let me make this clear - this was not in any way seedy or filthy. It was definately art. But we were hormonally-charged 15 year olds so we failed to appreciate the cultural side of it but the women were so strict in their approach than none of us dared (or at least, as much absinthe-filled teenagers could) touch or look at any off-limits body parts. We didn't letch or leer - we were too shocked so we just pretended to admire the 'artwork'.
As we were being shown around, the background music was Enigma (they had a number one 17 years ago with "Sadeness Part one". We left about half an out later wondering what had just happened to us.
By this time it was starting to get light in the early-morning of Heilbronn. We all staggard home and had an intellectual discussion about the artistic merits of German culture whilst sipping cognac and puffing on expensive Cuban cigars.
Actually that bit didn't happen at all. We DID stagger home, projectile vomited all over some cars and slept in some bushes til 3pm.
I'm not proud of what happened, in fact it was pretty reckless and dangerous, but it happened.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sister psycosis Don't got a lot to say
I hate getting older.
No, not for the usual reasons. None of this 'midlife crisis' stuff. No, this is personal.
I've noticed since I've started 'the job' that things are different. The problems which have plagued me for more than 20 years are just falling away. I don't know how and I don't know why. Am I complaining? Well yeah, sort of. These obstacles are what have made me who I am. These challenges have given me my ability to look in to someone's soul. They've allowed me to read someone's life from their language. Honestly, I really don't understand what these problems have been about (well actually I do, but I don't want you to know) or when the solution came but I'm sure it's to do with my surroundings. I'm guessing this is just the beginning as not all the issues have been cleared up but slowly the improvements seem to be growing.
So why do I hate getting older? Because I'm guessing these changes are to do with my age (33 in june in case you're interested) and how I'm perceived. 'The job' is the best place for all this. Such diversity means I get a mixed reaction.
Oh yeah, 'the job'. I might tell you about it next week. Actually a week today, that's about right. If I tell you at all, it'll be from then. The way it's been going then I very probably (does that make sense??) will. But I get my moments when it all falls down. I just have to do well next week is all. Had another 3 today and although it wasn't a challenge, I was grateful.
So what now? I get through tomorrow. She's getting a card of course and a whole lot more - but she doesn't know it yet. Hopefully I'll manage to get to the end of the day without being reminded about what happened 5 years ago tomorrow. One thing's for certain - you won't find me at the train station. Or the Eli Jenkins. Or Castle Square. If the phones rings, I say leave it ring.
Nah, I won't be reminded.
No, not for the usual reasons. None of this 'midlife crisis' stuff. No, this is personal.
I've noticed since I've started 'the job' that things are different. The problems which have plagued me for more than 20 years are just falling away. I don't know how and I don't know why. Am I complaining? Well yeah, sort of. These obstacles are what have made me who I am. These challenges have given me my ability to look in to someone's soul. They've allowed me to read someone's life from their language. Honestly, I really don't understand what these problems have been about (well actually I do, but I don't want you to know) or when the solution came but I'm sure it's to do with my surroundings. I'm guessing this is just the beginning as not all the issues have been cleared up but slowly the improvements seem to be growing.
So why do I hate getting older? Because I'm guessing these changes are to do with my age (33 in june in case you're interested) and how I'm perceived. 'The job' is the best place for all this. Such diversity means I get a mixed reaction.
Oh yeah, 'the job'. I might tell you about it next week. Actually a week today, that's about right. If I tell you at all, it'll be from then. The way it's been going then I very probably (does that make sense??) will. But I get my moments when it all falls down. I just have to do well next week is all. Had another 3 today and although it wasn't a challenge, I was grateful.
So what now? I get through tomorrow. She's getting a card of course and a whole lot more - but she doesn't know it yet. Hopefully I'll manage to get to the end of the day without being reminded about what happened 5 years ago tomorrow. One thing's for certain - you won't find me at the train station. Or the Eli Jenkins. Or Castle Square. If the phones rings, I say leave it ring.
Nah, I won't be reminded.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
A thousand numbers on my wall, some with names I sometimes call
Dad's birthday yesterday, we had a bit of a house party for him but the proper celebration was tonight. About 12 of us went out to The Tower in Swansea for a meal. Was really nice although the service was crap. Couldn't get over the similarities with 2002, his 65th birthday. Some of the same people there too. Actually loads of similarities with that darned year so far. I'll get over it. I should co-co.
Looks like I'm on the move again this week, but possibly at the expense of my PSP. Yep, that's cryptic. But those who need to know will understand.
Another thing about 2002 which continues to to stcik around to this day is the Left Behind books. I was introduced to them 5 years ago and to say they made an impact on me is an understatement. There are about 13 in series with another one out in a month or two and will be the final release. I'm halfway through the second-to-last release which is actually the 3rd prequel before the main series starts.
Yeah, work that one out.
Didn't get to have Alyssa this weekend because of the weather, she lives out in the sticks whereas I'm on the coast, we don't usually have much snow here. But in her village they get more white stuff than a record industry launch party.
WHY AM I SO TIRED ALL THE TIME??? I've taken a break from the gym so that can't be it. I've done nothing all day but read my new book, why am I yawning so much?
Looks like I'm on the move again this week, but possibly at the expense of my PSP. Yep, that's cryptic. But those who need to know will understand.
Another thing about 2002 which continues to to stcik around to this day is the Left Behind books. I was introduced to them 5 years ago and to say they made an impact on me is an understatement. There are about 13 in series with another one out in a month or two and will be the final release. I'm halfway through the second-to-last release which is actually the 3rd prequel before the main series starts.
Yeah, work that one out.
Didn't get to have Alyssa this weekend because of the weather, she lives out in the sticks whereas I'm on the coast, we don't usually have much snow here. But in her village they get more white stuff than a record industry launch party.
WHY AM I SO TIRED ALL THE TIME??? I've taken a break from the gym so that can't be it. I've done nothing all day but read my new book, why am I yawning so much?
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Sometimes your answer's heaven sent, Your way is so damn permanent
If ever you see me blog the words "I'm going to update this blog more often", treat it with the same amount of belief as a comment any Arsenal fan makes about his team's chances in the league.
OK I've been busy etc and all the usual crap. But actually I haven't. I recently bought a PSP and I can't put the darned thing down. It's a barrel of larfs, in my spare moments in work I'm always mucking about with it. Ah yeah, work.
First Andrea left after 3 days. Nick was the next to go, 3 weeks later. Then Mike, followed by Andrew. And today Josh walked out. Anthony might be the next to go. OK the job is tough, but enjoyable tough. Who knows, maybe I'll be next to go? Dunno but I doubt it. I'm enjoying this and it's taken me 4 years to get back.
And so many cuties on the team too. Angela (wow), Lisa (corrr), Rachel (meltdown!), Stacey (bling bling!!) Julie (booya!) and the fabulous and very lovely Cath who, if you didn't know, looks like a brunette Billie Piper. Complete with curves :D
Dad's birthday on friday, he's 70. Which means tomorrow is.......Paddy's anniversary.
Paddy was a mate I had in school. He got himself in trouble with the law a few times but he was always ok with me.
February 8th 1989 was the day he died. He was playing 'chicken' with the waves on Aberavon beach. Out of nowhere a massive wave crashed in and swept him out. He was never seen alive again. I last saw him about a week before he died, we were riding our bikes home from school. We rode on the pavement until a passing police car slowed down and the officer growled at us to get off it and on to the road.
A few hundred yards on, we parted ways and the last thing he ever said to me was "Don't let the pigs catch you". That was so Paddy. The days after he died, school was stunned. It never really sunk in. Anyway, in 2 years it'll be his 20th anniversary. That will be bizarre.
OK I've been busy etc and all the usual crap. But actually I haven't. I recently bought a PSP and I can't put the darned thing down. It's a barrel of larfs, in my spare moments in work I'm always mucking about with it. Ah yeah, work.
First Andrea left after 3 days. Nick was the next to go, 3 weeks later. Then Mike, followed by Andrew. And today Josh walked out. Anthony might be the next to go. OK the job is tough, but enjoyable tough. Who knows, maybe I'll be next to go? Dunno but I doubt it. I'm enjoying this and it's taken me 4 years to get back.
And so many cuties on the team too. Angela (wow), Lisa (corrr), Rachel (meltdown!), Stacey (bling bling!!) Julie (booya!) and the fabulous and very lovely Cath who, if you didn't know, looks like a brunette Billie Piper. Complete with curves :D
Dad's birthday on friday, he's 70. Which means tomorrow is.......Paddy's anniversary.
Paddy was a mate I had in school. He got himself in trouble with the law a few times but he was always ok with me.
February 8th 1989 was the day he died. He was playing 'chicken' with the waves on Aberavon beach. Out of nowhere a massive wave crashed in and swept him out. He was never seen alive again. I last saw him about a week before he died, we were riding our bikes home from school. We rode on the pavement until a passing police car slowed down and the officer growled at us to get off it and on to the road.
A few hundred yards on, we parted ways and the last thing he ever said to me was "Don't let the pigs catch you". That was so Paddy. The days after he died, school was stunned. It never really sunk in. Anyway, in 2 years it'll be his 20th anniversary. That will be bizarre.
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