Sister psycosis Don't got a lot to say

I hate getting older.

No, not for the usual reasons. None of this 'midlife crisis' stuff. No, this is personal.

I've noticed since I've started 'the job' that things are different. The problems which have plagued me for more than 20 years are just falling away. I don't know how and I don't know why. Am I complaining? Well yeah, sort of. These obstacles are what have made me who I am. These challenges have given me my ability to look in to someone's soul. They've allowed me to read someone's life from their language. Honestly, I really don't understand what these problems have been about (well actually I do, but I don't want you to know) or when the solution came but I'm sure it's to do with my surroundings. I'm guessing this is just the beginning as not all the issues have been cleared up but slowly the improvements seem to be growing.

So why do I hate getting older? Because I'm guessing these changes are to do with my age (33 in june in case you're interested) and how I'm perceived. 'The job' is the best place for all this. Such diversity means I get a mixed reaction.

Oh yeah, 'the job'. I might tell you about it next week. Actually a week today, that's about right. If I tell you at all, it'll be from then. The way it's been going then I very probably (does that make sense??) will. But I get my moments when it all falls down. I just have to do well next week is all. Had another 3 today and although it wasn't a challenge, I was grateful.

So what now? I get through tomorrow. She's getting a card of course and a whole lot more - but she doesn't know it yet. Hopefully I'll manage to get to the end of the day without being reminded about what happened 5 years ago tomorrow. One thing's for certain - you won't find me at the train station. Or the Eli Jenkins. Or Castle Square. If the phones rings, I say leave it ring.

Nah, I won't be reminded.